It’s a common belief that if you are an emotionally abusive person, then you cannot love. The truth is that you can’t help but love. There is an innate desire that you have to love. You can’t help that. You can’t help being emotionally abusive. You are not inherently a bad person. But you can help by changing yourself and your behavior.
What actually happens to emotionally abusive people is that they become abusive, but they are not a bad person. They are just not aware of what they are doing and the harm they do. For example, if you are an emotionally abusive person all the time you can literally take your life and leave it to your children or other people to deal with. But unless you are aware of the harm you’re causing, you cannot change.
It’s pretty hard to change the harm that you are causing yourself if you don’t know it yet. But as long as you are aware of it, and do not do anything about it, you can reduce the harm you are causing yourself.
It is a terrible thing to wake up and be aware of the harm you are doing. But it is even worse to be aware of it and not do something about it.
I feel like the hardest thing we have to do as parents is to be aware. There are a lot of people who are on our shit list, yet when they say something to us, we feel like we have to hurt them. We feel like we have to be mean to them or take them out and beat them up. Or we feel like we have to be very nice, and put their kids up on a pedestal.
The good news is that there are a ton of ways to try to stop your child from hurting you, as long as you know what you’re doing. The bad news is that you have to try to do it with a certain amount of force and anger. Otherwise, your child will continue to hurt you. You have to be aware of what you are doing, and what you are doing is actually harming them.
For most parents, it is difficult to say no, to not be cruel, and to be cruel when it is needed. But if you are emotionally abusive, then that is the best you can do. If you allow your child to use you as a punching bag, which is how he started, you will likely never see your child as a human being. When you allow your child to bully you into submission, you open yourself up to a whole new level of hurt.
You are not to judge your mother, but you must understand her. It is best that you choose your words carefully because your mother may be extremely angry with you. If you are giving her a hard time, you will likely get your ass kicked.
The best you can do is to keep your eye on the ball and keep your head in the game. You are not to judge your mother, but you must understand her. She is angry with you, and if you push her too hard she may even act violently. This may happen in your house too. What is important is to know what you are doing. If you are giving your mother a hard time, you will likely get your ass kicked.